This is a PSA for all New Moms, New-to-Elf families, and those who have never done the Elf on the Shelf before. BACK AWAY FROM THE ELF. Ok, that may be a little dramatic - your kids deserve the same magic and excitement every damn morning during the month of December searching for your family's elf's hiding spot. I mean, what else would we use to keep the kids in line this month? Of course they have to behave, 'cause the elf is watching and telling Santa. A little Good ole' fashioned fear is exactly what they need to behave.
So, if you are considering bringing the elf into your home for the first time this season, listen to me carefully. It is called an "Elf on the Shelf" for a reason. Leave the creepy little guy on a shelf. Believe me (a ten-year veteran elf-mover), move him from one shelf to another. Ok, maybe you can get a little creative and place him on top of the fridge, or wait, even on a shelf in the kitchen cabinet. But, whatever you do, keep him SITTING on a shelf.
The next rule you must follow very closely if you want to elf restfully for the next 10 years is... Never, NEV-er, EVER bring in props. DO NOT set up a scene; don't go searching in the basement for that a string of lights, staple gun, and duct tape. Don't make a late-night trip to the store for tiny bowling pins. NEVER stay up for hours wrapping the toilet with wrapping paper. If you find yourself sewing tiny clothes or crafting from an elf's perspective, STOP Immediately, put the elf on a friggin shelf and GO TO BED.
Lastly, FORGET TO MOVE IT!! Yes, I said it. Make a conscious decision to leave the elf in the same spot at least twice during the month. Pair this up with a day that the kids were particularly driving you bonkers and boom, you will have them shaking in their boots at the thought of coal, you will be well rested, and furthermore, you have set low, low expectations.
Follow these 3 easy steps:
- Leave the elf on the shelf,
- Never bring in props, and
- Forget to Move it...
... and your holidays for the next 10 years will be stress-free, restful, and YOU will be happy!
NOW, if you are anything like me and stupidly set your kids' expectations way too high many years ago with elaborate scenes and crazy antics, then IT IS TOO LATE. You are doomed and only have 2 choices: 1. Keep pulling your hair out trying to come up with something bigger and better, spending money on elf props, staying up late (cause now your kids are older and stay up later), and trying to make the best elf escapade OR 2. Tell your kids the truth!
If you choose to continue lying to your kids, let us help you out. All of our family's elf Caribou Bells' antics over the years have been photographed and saved on our Pinterest board found HERE.
